King Cinnamon Rolls
Time:
3h
Difficulty:
Intermediate
Loot:
12 rolls
The King of Cinnamon Rolls (was) IKEA.
Let’s be honest. You can’t beat those crammed, icing-stained boxes, that are always there to taunt you right at the check-out line. Then, to really hook you in, they pump in the hypnotic aroma of buttery cinnamon-sugar from the 1st floor snack bar right across the registers to heighten your cravings.
This experience is the pinnacle of what I think about when I hear the word “cinnamon roll.” For others, it might be the exploding tubes of Pillsbury (or Trader Joe’s) dough that your parents had to open while bracing for impact. Or maybe it’s the crunch of a Cinnabon from a mall food court artisanally reheated by a crew of exhausted teenagers or good ol’ Sau—I mean Gene Takovic. But, to me, none of these come close to IKEA’s. So naturally, I had to ask the question: how do you usurp the King?
That’s when I found the answer. You use the King’s favorite tactic against him: DIY.
I was right. This is a dangerous recipe, that for me, successfully knocked the Swedish empire off its pedestal. A fluffy, warm, buttery bun, stuffed to the brim with hot cinnamon-sugar, and drizzled with a light vanilla cream cheese icing that even my lactose-intolerant ass couldn’t bring myself to hate. And now, it’s time to arm my fellow citizens in this coup d’état.
Word to the Wise
Check your dough 30 seconds after it starts pulling away from the sides of your standmixer. One of the only mistakes that really screw up a cinnamon roll is overmixing/overkneading. This can happen a lot on standmixer kneading. So 30 seconds after, stop the mixer, stretch your dough, and see if light can pass through without a tear. If not, knead it for 1 more minute.
If the dough is overworked (dry, snaps when you tear it), let it rest for 5-10 minutes, and add 1 tsp of milk. Shit happens. Don’t fret, let it rest, and give it a little moisture. You can save the dough!
If your dough is dry and cracking, add 1 tsp of milk. You should start to see a pattern here. Moisture is very important with enriched doughs (fancy word for dough with butter in it). Avenge the dry, crispy Cinnabons of malls past.
Add little hatches with your knife to divide up your dough before cutting. Measure twice, cut once. Save yourself the mental math and wasted dough.
Do NOT apply downward force when dividing up your log. This will only result in squishing, unraveling, and a wet, sticky mess of cinnamon filling all over your counter.
If your cinnamon rolls are a bit overcooked (it can happen), brush them with melted butter, and seal the pan with cling wrap for 20 minutes. Again, shit happens. The cling wrap will help trap some steam, and your bun will absorb the water and melted butter to give you a softer, fluffier interior. Be sure to brush those center parts. Those definitely suck up the most moisture, cook the fastest, and often end up being the driest. And they’re supposed to be the best part!
Ingredients
Rolls
4 cups all-purpose flour
½ cup white granulated sugar
¾ tsp salt
⅓ cup butter, softened (⅔ stick)
1 cup whole milk, lukewarm
2 ¼ tsp active dry yeast
2 eggs
1 egg yolk
Cinnamon Filling
½ cup unsalted butter, softened (1 stick)
⅛ tsp salt
2 tbsp cinnamon
½ cup brown sugar
Icing
4 oz cream cheese
¾ cups powdered sugar
1 tbsp vanilla
3 tbsp whole milk
Instructions:
Rolls
Place an oven-safe dish or tray filled about halfway with hot water on the bottom rack of the oven. Preheat it to the lowest possible temperature. When you hear the gas start to sing, immediately turn it off (80-100 degrees Fahrenheit). You want it to feel like Florida in there, not an oven. Yeast likes this.
In a large mixing bowl (stand mixer, if you’ve got one), whisk together your flour and salt. If you’re using a stand mixer, the attachment doesn’t really matter for now.
Scoop out your ½ cup of white granulated sugar. Take 1 tbsp out of your cup and set it to the side. Dump the rest into your mixing bowl and whisk.
In a heatproof bowl or measuring cup, microwave your milk for about 30 seconds or until lukewarm (roughly the temperature of bathwater). Add in your yeast, and the 1 tbsp of sugar you set to the side. Let this sit for about 5-10 minutes or until bubbly and frothy.
While you’re waiting, microwave your butter in 15-second bursts until soft but NOT melted. Add your butter to the flour mixture and whisk until incorporated.
Once your yeast mixture is frothy, add it to your large flour mixing bowl, along with your eggs and egg yolk. Attach the dough hook to your stand mixer and knead/mix for 2-3 minutes on medium speed (4) or until it pulls away from the sides of your bowl and passes the windowpane test.
If you don’t have a stand mixer, no problem. Mix your ingredients until combined, and knead on a well-floured surface for about 10-12 minutes or until it passes the windowpane test. Do it for the gains!
When you finish your dough ball, you want it to feel moist and tacky (it should look a little rough), but it shouldn’t stick to your hands.
If it’s a little dry, add in about 1 tsp of milk and knead for about 30 seconds-1 minute more. If it’s too sticky, add about 1 tsp of flour and do the same thing. If you’re nervous at this point about overworking it, just let it rest for 5-10 minutes before kneading again.
Grease a large mixing bowl, plop your ball in, and seal the thing with cling wrap or cover it with a damp towel. Place your dough ball in your warm, humid oven for about 90 minutes or about 1.5x bigger.
Cinnamon Filling
Slice your butter into 4-5 pieces, and place it in the microwave for 30 seconds to 1 minute until softened, but not melted.
In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together your brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt. Add in your softened butter, and whisk until combined into a spreadable paste.
Assembly
Take your dough out of the proofing area and punch it down to release any excess air. Place it down on a well-floured surface and roll it out into a large rectangle.
Using a butter knife or an offset spatula, spread your cinnamon filling paste across the surface of the rectangle, leaving about a 1-inch gap on the long side.
From the side opposite to the gap, carefully roll your rectangle from the long side into a sort of log/tube shape. The goal is that when you roll your way to the seam, none of that precious filling leaks out.
Grease a 9x13 baking pan and start preheating your oven again on the lowest temperature until it reaches about 80-100 degrees Fahrenheit.
Using a serrated knife, cut off a thin part of the uneven end pieces of your dough log, and divide into 2-inch segments. You should get roughly 12 little buns. Place them side by side in the pan.
Cover the buns with cling wrap and place them back into your warm, humid oven to rise for about 45 minutes or until they about double in size.
Take your pan out of the oven and preheat it to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.
Bake your buns for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown on-top. Test for doneness by gently poking the bun. If it springs back, you’re good to go! Let them cool completely.
Final Prep
In a medium to large sized mixing bowl (preferably a stand mixer), use a whisk or whisk attachment to beat your cream cheese until smooth. Add in your powdered sugar and whisk until combined.
Add in your milk and vanilla and whisk until you have one thick, drippy vanilla, cream-cheese icing.
You can do this next part 1 of 2 ways…
Fill a piping bag or a Ziploc bag (with a ½-inch tip cut out) about halfway with your icing, and tie the ends shut. Carefully pipe your icing in a zigzag pattern across the surface of each of your buns until you cover the entire pan.
Using an offset spatula or a butter-knife, spread your cream cheese in an even layer across the tops of your cinnamon buns.
Enjoy! If you’re going to store these, make sure to seal your container with either Tupperware, cling wrap, or some sort of seal to prevent them from drying out.