Wicked Pissah Boston Cream Pie
Time:
5h
Difficulty:
Intermediate
Loot:
1 pie
This town has everything you guys!
(If you’re over the age of 30, imagine me doing a Stefon voice). Hot buttered lobster rolls on a rainy day (fight me). Old Ironsides parked in the hah-bah. Drunk Harvard kids doing gymnastics on the T in broad daylight. On a trip for my 13th birthday, it was honestly everything I’d dreamed of.
Then it came time for me to try something I’d fantasized about since I was watching Arthur in diapers: the elusive Boston Cream Pie. And where better to try it than the Omni Parker House hotel on School St: the frickin’ birthplace of the “pie.” And oh boy did it deliver.
Even though Boston is chockfull of nerds ( they’re just “wicked smaht”), I’m not gonna go on the classic food blogger “umm actually it’s a cake” tirade. Because frankly, like everyone else, I don’t really give a shit. It’s delicious. The dense old-school sponge, the refreshing pastry cream, and the rich, mellow ganache top guarded by a bastion of toasted almonds along the crust. It’s like a perfect metaphor for the hotel or even the town itself. Despite its glitz, glamor, and air of elitism, it’s something that just truly feels rugged, old-fashioned, and proudly American at its core.
I made a few tweaks to the hot-milk base cake (instead of a regular sponge) to provide a bit of a moister, well-rounded flavor to complement the richness of the cream. Let me tell you in advance that this recipe is not a 1:1 remake of Parker House. I have the utmost respect for the greats, but this recipe is definitely its own legend. But, you know what? That’s not for me to say. Bostonians, what do you think?
Word to the Wise
Whisk regularly when boiling the milk for the Boston Cream. It’s a hard balance to strike. You don’t need to babysit it, but be sure to stir it occasionally so it doesn’t scald, curdle, and smell nasty.
WHISK, WHISK, and WHISK when adding the milk to your eggs: You’re adding really, really hot milk to your mixture of egg yolks when you make custard. To turn it into custard and not poached eggs, whisk CONSTANTLY.
Keep cooking for 45-60 seconds after your Boston Cream thickens and boils: Once your cream thickens, you’re gonna be tempted to take it off right away. Keep stirring for about a minute so that it stays thick when you take it off the heat.
Fold in your dry ingredients to the cake by hand. Your batter is going to be a lot thicker before your last-addition of steaming hot milk and butter (that’s why it’s actually called a hot milk cake). Doing it by hand will make it less of a pain in the final mix.
Loosen up your Boston Cream with 1-2 tbsp of heavy cream if it’s too stiff after chilling: Depending on how long you leave it in the fridge, the corn starch can make it firm up like crazy (it could feel like Jell-O). If this happens, don’t sweat it! Just add in a little heavy cream, and whisk until it’s nice and smooth again.
Leave behind a little extra Boston Cream after spreading out the middle layer. This’ll be useful towards the end to act as a glue to put on the almonds along the crust.
Be sure to stretch out your timeline! A lot of the time for this recipe comes from waiting for things to chill or set.
Boston Cream: 20m prep + 2h chill
Cake: 20m prep + 15m bake + 15 m cool + 1.5-2h chill
Ganache: 5m prep
Assembly: 10m assemble+ 30m chill+ 10m assemble
My advice if it’s a week-day/time crunch, break it up into two days like this:
Night Before
Make Boston Cream
Bake the cakes.
Eat dinner, watch YouTube, or get some work done.
Assemble layers and go to bed.
Day of (when you get home or after dinner)
Make ganache
Make icing (optional)
Decorate the top.
Doom-scroll for about 20 minutes.
Add the almond crust, and serve put it back in the fridge until after dinner.
These are just suggestions. For the work-at-home/weekend warriors, you can absolutely knock this thing out in one day. But for those of you, with other commitments, that’s how I’d plan around it.
Ingredients
Cake
2 large eggs, room temperature
1 cup granulated white sugar
½ cup whole milk
5 tbsp unsalted butter
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 ¼ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla extract
Ganache
¼ cup heavy whipping cream
¼ cup chocolate chips (or couverture chocolate)
Boston Cream
6 egg yolks, room tempertaure
⅔ cup granulated white sugar
3 tbsp cornstarch
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 cups whole milk
1 tbsp butter
⅛ tsp salt
White Icing (optional)
1 cup confectioners' sugar
1 tsp corn syrup
1 tbsp water
Garnish:
1 cup slivered almonds
Instructions:
Boston Cream
Pour your milk into a medium saucepan over medium heat. Whisk occasionally for around 4-5 minutes until it comes to a boil (could be longer). Immediately take it off the heat and stir in the vanilla. Leave this off to the side.
In a large mixing bowl (try a stand mixer if you want to save the workout), whisk together you egg yolks and sugar until they fall into pale, thick ribbons.
Add in your cornstarch and salt and whisk until combined. While quickly stirring your egg yolk mixture, pour about ¼ of your steaming milk in.
Keep stirring constantly. When the mix is fully combined and a bit more lukewarm, gradually pour in the rest of your steaming milk until fully incorporated. Save the saucepan and get a fine-mesh strainer/sieve ready over the top.
Pour out your cream mixture through the strainer into the saucepan you just used (to catch any straggling pieces of scrambled egg that might’ve popped up). .
Put the saucepan back on the stove at medium-high heat and get back to stirring. Stir your mixture for about 5 minutes or until it turns a thick, pale yellow. There might be some lumps. That’s totally normal! Keep whisking vigorously for about 45 seconds to 1 minute to smooth it out and make sure it cooks through.
Take your cream off the stove and drop in your butter. Keep whisking until it’s fully melted and combined. Immediately cover the Boston Cream with cling wrap (yes, even when it’s still hot) touching the surface. Cover the saucepan with more cling wrap or a pot lid to seal in the air and keep it from forming a skin. Put the pan in the fridge to chill.
Cake (Pie)
Run some lukewarm water into a small bowl and carefully place your two eggs until fully submerged. Leave them there for a few minutes to turn room temperature.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Line the bottom of two 8-inch cake pans with parchment paper. Spray down, butter, or grease the sides thoroughly.
Combine your flour, baking soda, and salt into one bowl medium sized mixing bowl.
Once your eggs are nice and lukewarm, crack them into a large bowl (stand mixer bowl if you’re using one). Add in your sugar, and using a whisk (or whisk attachment), beat them together until they turn pale and thick. Ribbons would be ideal, but if they fall in a slow, gloppy string, that’s fine too.
Take your egg mixture off the stand mixer, and add in a little bit of your flour mix (about ¼). Using a spatula, gently, manually fold in your dry ingredients in a bottom-to-top motion in your bowl until just combined. Add in a little more of your dry ingredients and repeat until just combined. Be VERY careful not to overmix here. Once everything is combined, it should look dry and sort of cakey (no pun intended). This is totally fine. If using a stand mixer, put your bowl back on.
In a pyrex measuring cup or a glass bowl, cut up your butter and combine it with your milk. Melt them together in the microwave in 30 second bursts stirring in between (to avoid making brown butter). Repeat this 3-4 times until there is nothing but liquid left. Stir in your vanilla here!
With your whisk attachment on low to medium speed (or using your hands), slowly and continuously pour in your hot milk mixture (yes, it should be hot, that’s what you want). Stop in between every few second if necessary to scrape down the sides of the bowl. Stop mixing when everything is just combined and forms one, liquidey, pancake-batter looking substance. Using your spatula, fold from bottom to top a few times.
Divide your batter into your two cake pans. They should fill up both about halfway. Gently tap the sides of your pans and run a chopstick or toothpick in a zig-zag pattern to pop any lingering bubbles.
Place your cakes in the oven and bake for around 15-17 minutes. Be sure to check right at 15 minutes for doneness. These cakes are a bit smaller so they’ll cook faster.
Let the cakes cool in the pans for about 10 minutes. Carefully run a knife along the sides, flip them, and let them cool on a wire rack (if you have one). While your cakes cool, take out the beautiful Boston Cream you made earlier. Remove the wrap and check the consistency. If it’s thick, but spreadable, you’re golden! If not, let it chill. bit more. If it’s like gelatin, add in 1-2 tbsp of heavy cream, and whisk vigorously. It should loosen up just right.
Now’s the time to take out the turntable if you have one. If not, no worries! A big dish or a cake plate will do. Place your bottom cake flat side down, and run a knife along the top to flatten the surface out. Using a spatula (preferably an offset if you have one), gently spread a thick layer of Boston Cream along the surface leaving about an inch along the border. Make sure the layer is nice and flat.
Reseal your pastry cream and put it back in the fridge. You’ll need this for later!
Place your second cake flat side down along the top. Cover your dish with a cake plate cover or plastic wrap, and place in the refrigerator for at least 90 minutes to set.
Ganache
In a small saucepan, pour in your heavy whipping cream and heat for about a minute. Not boiling or simmering, just a little warm.
Add in your chocolate. Using a spatula stir and fold constantly scraping down the sides of the pot to avoid burning chocolate (it’s a pain to clean, be vigilant). Keep stirring until the chocolate is fully melted and your ganache is combined.
Take your ganache off the heat, and place it on the counter to cool for a little while. This’ll make it a bit less runny and more spreadable so you don’t make a gigantic mess.
Keep going! Remember what it’s all for!
Assembly
Take your cake out of the fridge and carefully drizzle your ganache into a small pool in the center. In a smooth motion, take an offset spatula and gently spread your ganache across the top. If you have a turntable, spin gently while holding down your spatula in one place.
In a small mixing bowl (if doing icing), combined your powdered sugar, water, and corn syrup, and mix until combined. Load a piping bag about halfway with your icing.
Spinning your turntable (or in a smooth motion if not available), pipe your white icing out evenly in a spiral pattern across the top. It should like one of those spirograph toys you used in art class as a kid.
Take a toothpick or chopstick, and carefully, plant it towards the middle. In one swift, yet gentle motion, pull it outward to make a spiderweb string on the spiral. Turn the plate 90 degrees and repeat this four times to divide the web into 4 quadrants. Repeat this in groups of 4 until you have a total of 16-32 quadrants or a satisfying spider web.
Put your cake back in the fridge to chill for about 30 minutes. Take your leftover Boston Cream back out of the fridge to loosen up a bit.
When you remove your cake from the fridge, take your offset spatula and coat the sides of your pie with a thin layer of Boston Cream. This can help cover up any of the bigger ganache drips.
Get your toasted almonds out, and using your hands, press a layer of them into the sides around the cake (using the turntable if possible), until you have a nice, neat almond crust.
Let the pie chill for 10-15 minutes more, cut it up, and enjoy!