Crackhead Oatmeal Chip Cookies
Time:
45m
Difficulty:
Easy
Loot:
36 cookies
Ah, my old Shell Shockers username. Good times.
In all realness though, this name carries two meanings:
They are fatally addictive. I almost failed my cut one summer because I couldn't eat any less than four of these at a time.
It’s got a rough, slightly brittle look to it. Very prone to “cracks.”
The cragginess of the oatmeal will give these cookies a rough, yet gooey molten texture, with a mellow, nutty sweetness beautifully complimented by the ever-so-subtle bitterness of the dark chocolate. A batch of these has never successfully passed the 24-hour-mark in my household, and I strongly doubt it will in yours either.
That’s enough of that. Time to deal.
Word to the Wise
Use small clumps when putting the dough on the plate and put a lot of space in between each prospective cookie. These expand like crazy.
Don’t worry about shaping the dough into a circle. In the oven, the cookies will sort of dissolve, spread out, and round on their own. Make ‘em as ugly as they come.
If you’re impatient or a procrastinating dumbass like myself from time-to-time, don’t worry if you forgot to soften your butter. Just zap cold butter for around 25 seconds to soften it. But USE A LID. Don’t be Phyllis from The Office.
Let them cool. You will be tempted to eat them fresh out of the oven. Resist. The cooling period out of the oven is incredibly important for the cookies to finish cooking and solidifying. Save yourself the mess.
Ingredients
1 cup unsalted butter, softened (2 sticks)
1 cup brown sugar
½ cup white granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
½ tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
3 cups quick-cooking oats
1 cup chopped pecans (or walnuts)
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
Instructions
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit.
In a large bowl, cream together your butter, brown sugar, and white sugar until smooth.
Beat in your eggs one at a time until fully combined.
Stir in the vanilla until fully mixed into the batter.
Pour in your flour, baking soda, and salt, and mix until just combined.
Mix in your quick oats, pecans, and chocolate chips.
On a large baking sheet, place down a sheet of ungreased parchment paper.
Using a ladle, an ice cream scooper, or even a regular spoon, scoop up an ugly heap from your cookie dough and drop it onto your baking sheet. Make sure you have at least about 2 inches of space in between each one. (Don’t pull out a ruler, eyeball it).
Bake for 14 minutes in the oven one sheet at a time.
Once you take them out, let them cool down for 10 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack.